


No Makoto ~ No Haru

by merinxD



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Grief, Loss, M/M, episode 5 alternative, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-15
Updated: 2013-10-15
Packaged: 2017-12-29 12:26:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1005443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merinxD/pseuds/merinxD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto dies at the beach. Haru reacts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Makoto ~ No Haru

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt fill. Edited by anilinsan.tumblr.com

_The waves crash harshly as the wind billows. Haru is breathing heavily, panting, but it doesn’t matter. Makoto is slung over his shoulder and Haru falls to the wet sand._

_It’s dark and raining and when Haru gazes down at his best friend, something sinks in his stomach. He reaches out to touch, to listen for his breath, but Makoto is cold and lifeless._

_Haru gazes around frantically before the decision is made. Leaning down, he tilts Makoto’s head back to clear his airway. Then Haru breathes air into his mouth followed by a series of compressions._

_One_

_Two_

_Three_

_He counts the breaths before compressing again, mindful not to crush Makoto’s bones. It is so delicate but there is no time._

_One_

_Two_

_Three_

_He breathes again, compressing. No response comes and Haru’s heart hammers faster and faster._

_One_

_Two_

_Three_

_Nothing…_

_One_

_Two_

_Three…_

_Makoto doesn’t move._

_Haru gives up on the breathing, switching to only compressions. He presses true and hard, one after the other._

_He counts to 30, just like they learnt in swim school._

_Still…Nothing happens._

_He is growing crazy, turning the clammy man on his side trying in vain to release any water. The recovery position isn’t helping though. Nothing is._

_The rain falls harder, the waves crash tauntingly._

_As Haru’s heart breaks, Makoto’s heart stops._

_Still, Haru tries again and again until a sickly crack sounds. He stops abruptly, not realising that he is crying now. It mixes with the rain just like his cries._

_"Please Makoto. Please. Please. Please." Haru chants, but Makoto doesn’t rise._

_The rain begins to settle and Haru knows that it’s too late. It doesn’t stop him from shaking Makoto’s limp form. Shaking him harder than anything ever before._

_Tears rip through him, joined by unnatural guttural cries. The shaking stops and Makoto slides from Haru’s grip, thumping to the sand._

_Haru falls too, directly on top of his friend. He clings to Makoto, holds him tighter than ever before and wills him to wake up, to move._

_Haru knows that he won’t._

_Makoto is dead and the water took him._

Haru’s eyes flutter open to find the sun shining in on him. The birds chirp outside and the sound of morning life resounds through the neighbourhood. For a second, Haru thinks that he has had a horrible dream, that Makoto is alive and well and he will see him in an hour. 

It’s 10am though and no one is coming. 

Haru wears Makoto’s favourite shirt, clinging to the last of his scent. He knows that it will leave eventually, give way to his own smell, but Haru doesn’t want it to. Everything is too real and he doesn’t want any of it to be happening. 

Makoto was scared of the water and Haru should have listened. There were so many variables that could have changed things. They were supposed to be together forever!

Maybe if Makoto had been in  _their_  tent, like always, it would all be okay. Haru would have noticed him leave, he is sure of it. 

Maybe this and maybe that. Maybe’s and what if’s won’t bring Makoto back. 

Like every other morning, tears cover Haru’s face silently. He doesn’t even feel them anymore. For all he knows, he could always be crying.

Air wells within him, but he can’t even bring himself to sigh. He is so tired and sore, but it pales in comparison to the ache in his heart. 

Pulling himself upward, Haru listlessly removes his clothes (making sure to fold Makoto’s shirt neatly, like he would have done himself). His fingers graze over a nearby photo and he stares down at Makoto blankly. 

"Good morning, Makoto." He murmurs, hand pressed over his chest. It hurts to say it, but it would hurt even more to be unable to. 

Even if Makoto is not here, Haru will continue to say it every day for the rest of his life. 

Leaving his room, the desolate youth pads into the washroom. The shoji doesn’t slide closed, because he doesn’t have enough presence to remember. 

Standing there, in the center of the room, Haru has the same problem as yesterday and the day before. 

He can’t look at his bath, it hurts to. There are too many memories of taken for granted  _chan’s_  and warm smiles. Where he once found comfort in water has been replaced by an all-encompassing hate. 

Hatred for the water and hatred for himself. The water may have taken Makoto, but it was Haru who brought it into their lives. 

Perhaps if he had never relied on water to begin with, Makoto would be alive. It’s another what if that refuses to go away, plaguing him constantly - always. Makoto is supposed to be by his side, walking with him through his entire life. They were only children, but Haru believed him when Makoto promised forever. Instead he gave his life away because he couldn’t help himself. Haru  _hates_  Makoto’s need to help and put people before him. Haru used to joke that it would kill him. Who knew that it would come true?

_This isn’t forever, Makoto_. Crosses his mind and he looks up to the ceiling like his friend can hear him, wherever he is. 

It doesn’t matter where he is because Makoto is not here. The ocean took him, ripped away Makoto’s breath and stole him from this world. It doesn’t matter because Haru will never get to see Makoto’s smiling face, or glittering eyes, to feel the warmth of his hand…

To say,  _I love you_ …

He will never get to say goodbye.

It was stolen by the water. All of it. 

Haru once thought that water was his friend, but he knows that it was a lie. Water is  _not_  his friend and it never should have been.

It’s too late to change, though. Makoto is dead.

Inside, Haru is, too.

Deciding against a bath, Haru turns on the shower. He steps beneath the spray for the first time in a long time, shuddering at the thought of water touching him. Just knowing that he has to drink it to stay alive makes his heart clench. It’s ironic that what he needs to live stole Makoto away. 

If it were possible, Haru would never look at water again.

Instead, Haru has chosen not to swim. Never again.

Without water there is no Haru…

Without Makoto there is no water…

Without Makoto there is no Haru…

No water…

No Makoto…

No Haru…

_Why I am I still alive?_

**Author's Note:**

> Well that was depressing. Go read Domestic Nights! I'm going to upload some fluff to soothe your souls! What? you say, Three chapters in a day, what's wrong with you?  
> I'm just crazy like that.
> 
> Ugh, now I'm all snotty and crap.


End file.
